[[*---Don't Catch Me As I Fall---*]]

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Be positive

Hohoho...
I'm sick again for the 3rd time in 2 months.
Weakz Hamster..
Think I should get a membership card from Dr Khoo.
The weather had been really bad for the past 1 week.
Its finally getting better..
The sun is shinning once againz.
It feels so warm and comforting...

FYP had been getting heavier as day passes.
Stayed till the lab closes juz now.
Surprisingly, it closes at 7 instead of 8..
After that thing had happen..
I had tis fear of gg home early..
I tend to think alot..
At this certain point of the day..
I will think of wat had happen..
Tears juz flow out..
I myself clearly knows y I'm sickz.
Its obviously due to stress.
I juz find it too hard to accept what had happen..

Learn some interesting stuff during NS class today.
Its like reading in between the lines of what people said to u.
I begin to understand the hidden meaning behind what he wanted to say.
Somethings are juz excuses.. Beating ard the bush.
Facts and reality had been thrown to me everyday.
I have to deal with them..
No matter hw terrible I feel..
FYP has to be done..
Lessons has to go on..
Life juz have to go onz..

Wenz told me I'm getting emotionally stronger..
Am I really?
I juz dun want to show my weak side anymore.
Its tiring..
Though I still feel sad now..
But what can I do..
He dun even care and bother..
Does he even know I'm so sickz..
Sickz partly bcoz of him.
I had never been sick for so long b4.

Ru told me I should juz end it.
Though I seem to look ok everyday in sch..
Deep inside my heart,
I still hope to salvage it..
But thinking back of what I had been doing after what he said..
I dunno whether my efforts of salvaging it are recognised..
He juz dun bother..
As i had always said..
I'm already sentenced to death without knowing what I had convicted.
Even a murder can appeal after he is sentenced.
But me..?
I dunno what he on his mind.
Maybe my presence frm the start is nt impt to him.
Now.. I'm juz waiting to be sentenced.
Its not tat I din put in effort..
Its juz other party dun put in effort to recognise.

I was told y I actually feel so hurtz.
Its bcoz I loved him alot..
Ya.. I really did..
Though times spend tog r nt much,
I still treasure them alotz..
I tot I'm being understanding..
Love is being understanding, not demanding..
I always believed in this..
Again.. I'm wrong..

I'm juz so tired..

Lynnie black out at 1:52 PM